Most of the people I see are in pain or distress. They have feelings or thoughts or behaviours that are upsetting or unwanted. They have usually tried to change these without success.
They have probably told themselves to 'snap out of it', given themselves a good talking-to. They have called themselves names like lazy, pathetic, weak. They have set deadlines, promised themselves rewards. But the unwanted feelings or behaviours still don't go away.
They may not be able to explain the feelings they have. They feel fear of things they know are not frightening, like walking in town or going to the supermarket, mice, or needles, leaving the gas on, germs, not being liked.
Their lives have filled with things they avoid, going by train, answering the door or the phone, being responsible for even the smallest thing. They once took doing these things for granted. Now they worry even when they are telling themselves there is nothing to worry about.
They may have a sense of despair and maybe injustice long after they expect to get over a loss, disappointment or rebuff. They tell themselves that other people have much greater troubles. Somehow that doesn't help at all.
They find themselves dwelling on past events, even reliving them in a painfully vivid way. When they remember these events, they feel distressed. Sometimes self-blame goes with this.
They may get angry at the smallest things, sometimes just waiting for a reason to explode.
At some point they have worried that 'I must be going mad'. They feel like the only one who thinks or feels or acts like this.
Some people I see just want to do things better, feel more confident. Self consciousness gets in the way of them doing things well, whether that's sport, or speaking or just being on show somewhere. They don't have a difficulty as such, but there's a problem they need to solve.
Most people want to feel more comfortable in their own skin, at ease with themselves, to feel that 'yes, I'm OK as I am'. It's a hard quality to describe, like beauty, but it's unmistakable when it's there.
On the testimonials page, Annie reports her thoughts as she looks back after a year. She notes her greater self belief and improved performance at work. She says 'I seemed to have dealt with all the baggage that had been dragging me down, which I was completely unaware of, prior to the therapy.'
Like Annie, each of us carries round old wounds and scars that we don't even know are there, often from childhood and adolescence. Healing these old wounds can give a sense of ease, of accepting and liking yourself.
These can be old wounds from abuse, or bullying, or constant criticism or coldness, but they can also be from moments of shame or rejection or humiliation, being the last child to be picked for a team, or being mocked for wearing the wrong shoes.
